My last "on tour" journal entry starts here. What to say? My lessons learnt? My beard length earnt? How do I even start to wrap up what has been the best year of my life? Maybe I'll start by stopping with the 20 questions.
2008 has been the year of MyPOWER, for the rest of my life I will remember it this way. It has been a year in which I think I have experienced ten years worth of lessons. I have learnt about myself, about my strengths and about my weaknesses. I couldn't have learnt these things another way. I know what I need to work on to become a better person and I'm looking forward to that. I've also learnt a lot about my relationships with friends and family. How much I really value my support network and how badly I need it. It makes me realise how important it is for me to be there for my friends and family, unconditionally.
It's funny to think that I never felt alone in the desert with these boys. Even when they were asleep and I was awake, sitting on the red sands reading a book under the stars. But I did feel lonely sometimes. When I went ahead to get accommodation, food, water, that's when I felt lonely. I felt lonely in a busy supermarket with hardly enough room to move through the isles. I felt like I was surrounded by worker bees, all sleepwalking through their busy lives, too busy to take a look around. And then I realised I didn't feel lonely, just different. Different from everybody else but the three boys because of what we have been through together.
We have formed a bond that goes beyond words. We know what each other is thinking without having to say it. All it takes is a sideways look. Meeting friends up in Crescent Head, all of us excited with the new company. Tommy and I share a sideways look telling each other that we missed these boys over the last year. Matt's dad comes up to the Gold Coast, as I drop Matt at his dad's place we share a sideways look that tells me just how happy Matty is to see his old man. Planning our return festival for later this week, Meri and I share a sideways look that says I can't believe we are nearly home.
I'm sure that will continue into the future. On our return, standing on stage at Dunningham Park saying our thank you's, all of us sharing a sideways look, pinching ourselves that actually we made it. Not because we ever thought we wouldn't but because the finish line always seemed so far away. It has crept up on us from behind, holding it's breath, before finally covering our eyes and saying "guess who?"
The weirdest thing about this is thinking that we will no longer have such an accurate recollection of our lives. A daily journal entry, 50-100 photos a day, video diaries, clippings, newspapers, schools. Maybe I will have to start a diary when I get back.
This tour has had two stories. The story of the cyclists and the story of the support driver. They share the same plot, the same twists and turns but the perspective has been different. The boys have experienced things I have only a taste of. The cold desert air at four in the morning, surrounded by kangaroos, stars and silence. I have experienced some things the boys have only a taste of. Witnessing the tour progress from behind. I hope I have accurately shared my side of the story.
A goalkeeper sees a football match differently from a striker. They boys are the strikers; they do the running, score the goals and win the game. They do the shaking and baking, the hard work, the nuts and bolts of the game. I am the goalkeeper, I can't win the game, I can only lose it. I am there only to make sure nothing goes wrong, to stop a goal by the other team. I am proud of the boys this year, they have scored many goals, won every game for us. I hope I have done them justice at the back and kept a clean sheet.
Quote of the day
The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth.
~Chinese Proverb
anthony@mypower.org.au